In my ongoing effort to learn my dear husband's native tongue, tonight we translated the poem from the beginning of my book into Dutch. So for my new Dutch family, this is for you:
- de uitbarsting-
scheiding
is als een sterke aardbeving
de wereld schud
gevoed door woede
en alle boosheid
schuld
en frustraties
zo lang broedend
onder de oppervlakte
spuit dan plotseling omhoog
in een inferno van haat
of onverschilligheid...
soms
is de wereld kalm
en je denkt
dat het schudden voor bij is
rustig
stabiel
maar dan begint de cyclus opnieuw
opnieuw
opnieuw
opnieuw
je bent vermoeid
je wilt rusten
en dat is wanneer je realiseerd
dat het schudden gestopt is
maar
er is een angstaanjagend gevoel
hangend in de lucht
je aarzelt
om nooit meer iets te geloven
je bent zo moe
en na zolang worstelen
rust je daarom
op het laatste stukje stabiel land
om ook dat in tweeen verdeelt te zien worden
twee
aparte
verschillende
delen
die nooit meer
opnieuw samenkomen
elk nieuw deel
een gedeelte van jouw
en onder je ogen
drijven ze uiteen
- Jen Abbas,
achttien jaar
And for my English reading audience:
-the eruption-
divorce
is like a trembling earthquake
the world shakes
rumbling with rage
and all the anger
guilt
and frustrations
that have been festering for so long
below the surface
suddenly spew upward
in an inferno of hate
or apathy…
at times
the earth calms
and you think
the turmoil is over
settled
stable
but
then the cycle begins again
repeating
repeating
repeating
you are weary
you want to rest
and that is when you realize
the shaking has stopped
but
there is an eerie feeling
lurking in the air
you are hesitant to believe
anything
anymore
you are so tired
after struggling for so long
and so you rest
on the one last solid patch of land
only to watch it split in two
two
separate
distinct
parts
that will never
come together
again
each new patch
supports part of you
and as you watch
they pull away.
-Jen Abbas,
age eighteen
- de uitbarsting-
scheiding
is als een sterke aardbeving
de wereld schud
gevoed door woede
en alle boosheid
schuld
en frustraties
zo lang broedend
onder de oppervlakte
spuit dan plotseling omhoog
in een inferno van haat
of onverschilligheid...
soms
is de wereld kalm
en je denkt
dat het schudden voor bij is
rustig
stabiel
maar dan begint de cyclus opnieuw
opnieuw
opnieuw
opnieuw
je bent vermoeid
je wilt rusten
en dat is wanneer je realiseerd
dat het schudden gestopt is
maar
er is een angstaanjagend gevoel
hangend in de lucht
je aarzelt
om nooit meer iets te geloven
je bent zo moe
en na zolang worstelen
rust je daarom
op het laatste stukje stabiel land
om ook dat in tweeen verdeelt te zien worden
twee
aparte
verschillende
delen
die nooit meer
opnieuw samenkomen
elk nieuw deel
een gedeelte van jouw
en onder je ogen
drijven ze uiteen
- Jen Abbas,
achttien jaar
And for my English reading audience:
-the eruption-
divorce
is like a trembling earthquake
the world shakes
rumbling with rage
and all the anger
guilt
and frustrations
that have been festering for so long
below the surface
suddenly spew upward
in an inferno of hate
or apathy…
at times
the earth calms
and you think
the turmoil is over
settled
stable
but
then the cycle begins again
repeating
repeating
repeating
you are weary
you want to rest
and that is when you realize
the shaking has stopped
but
there is an eerie feeling
lurking in the air
you are hesitant to believe
anything
anymore
you are so tired
after struggling for so long
and so you rest
on the one last solid patch of land
only to watch it split in two
two
separate
distinct
parts
that will never
come together
again
each new patch
supports part of you
and as you watch
they pull away.
-Jen Abbas,
age eighteen
3 comments:
I wonder if I should attempt to tell you what it is like being the abused parent of a child. I don't think anyone has addressed that issue, but I will, and I'm lucky to be here to talk about it. So many times I've read your blog and felt your fear of being a child of a divorced parent, and wondered if I should tell you what it is like being married to someone who put out all the promises of being a Christian (and say whatever it is they think you want them to hear) then find out you were decieved, as I was. Should I have continued the downward spiral to self-destruction, or seek help, which pointed to getting out of that unhealthy relationship? Of course divorce is heart breaking, but so is a woman fearing for her life, and that of her child. Recognizing a suicidal situation and making the brave decision to get out and moving on is much harder than you think, and I hope you reconsider your harsh position and show some foregiveness as Our Savior did. Start now with your mother. She gave you every opportunity and support so please don't degrade her with your writtings. You've not been in her shoes, yet. But she has been in yours. And so have I.
In love and Respect,
Lori
Hi Lori,
Thanks for your loving and respectful reply. I appreciate you weighing with the other perspective. We all know from unfortunate experience that sometimes divorce is the lesser of two evils, and my objective in writing my book (or posting on this blog) is not put blame of parents who made the best possible decision they were capable of making at that time. As I write in my book, and make clear when I speak, "No one deserves to be defined by their worst moment." Going through a divorce is never a parent's best moment. At the same time, the "moment" of processing divorce for a child is rarely at the time of the divorce...it's in early adulthood. Multiple studies confirm this. As kids we cope with the parental choices made for us (custody, etc.) As adults we (as all adults do) face the difficult task of sorting out what our parents did right and how to create /continue those traits in our own life, and what things we would want to change, and how to create that which we didn't experience. I've yet to meet someone who says, "I hope I grow up to be divorced." Thus, my book and this blog exists to help those who have weathered parental divorce to nagivate that process, with grace, forgiveness and gratefulness for all the good our parents did do. As you know, my mom has a wonderful creativity and gift of writing. She has a desire to make her mark in the world and leave it better than she found it. She instilled that in me, and it is her quality in me that allows me to take some of our worst moments and redeem them for the good and healing in others.
It's really awesome poem. I really like it.
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