Adult Children of Divorce: Healing the Pain That Lives On
10/25/2006
On today's broadcast, divorce survivors Elizabeth Marquardt and Jen Abbas tell Dennis Rainey how their parents' divorce nearly 20 years earlier has affected them throughout their lives and continues to affect them today.
Guests Include: Jen Abbas, Elizabeth Marquardt
Tune in here to listen or read the transcript from day three of my radio interview on FamilyLife Today.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
The Emotional Hurdles of Living Through a Divorce (FamilyLife Interview Day 2)
Adult Children of Divorce: Healing the Pain That Lives On
10/24/2006
Divorce not only dramatically affects the couple involved, but also their children. That's according to authors Elizabeth Marquardt and Jen Abbas, both adult children of divorce. Today on the broadcast, Elizabeth and Jen talk about the reality of divorce emotionally for children with FamilyLife President, Dennis Rainey.
Guests Include: Jen Abbas, Elizabeth Marquardt
Tune in here to listen or read the transcript from day two of my radio interview on FamilyLife Today.
10/24/2006
Divorce not only dramatically affects the couple involved, but also their children. That's according to authors Elizabeth Marquardt and Jen Abbas, both adult children of divorce. Today on the broadcast, Elizabeth and Jen talk about the reality of divorce emotionally for children with FamilyLife President, Dennis Rainey.
Guests Include: Jen Abbas, Elizabeth Marquardt
Tune in here to listen or read the transcript from day two of my radio interview on FamilyLife Today.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Surviving the Aftermath of Divorce (FamilyLife Interview Day 1)
Adult Children of Divorce: Healing the Pain That Lives On
10/23/2006
On the broadcast today, Elizabeth Marquardt, director of the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values, and Jen Abbas, author of the book Generation Ex, tell Dennis Rainey about their experience growing up without both a mother and a father in the home.
Guests Include: Jen Abbas, Elizabeth Marquardt
Tune in here to listen or read the transcript from day one of my radio interview on FamilyLife Today.
10/23/2006
On the broadcast today, Elizabeth Marquardt, director of the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values, and Jen Abbas, author of the book Generation Ex, tell Dennis Rainey about their experience growing up without both a mother and a father in the home.
Guests Include: Jen Abbas, Elizabeth Marquardt
Tune in here to listen or read the transcript from day one of my radio interview on FamilyLife Today.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Media Alert: FamilyLife Today
Elizabeth Marquardt and I will on the FamilyLife Today radio program all this week, October 23-27 talking about the long-term effects of divorce. Check your local radio station for air time, or check here to listen online or read a transcript after the program airs.Oh yeah, and you can order the book here.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
It's Here!
I'm back home safe in Michigan. My dad is here and has been a great help as I'm still in quite a bit of pain from the accident. It's been so nice to have someone to run errands and do my lifting. Dad's been a great sport. Probably not the vacation he expected, but it sure has been good timing.One errand I don't think Dad minded at all was answering the door when UPS arrived yesterday with my copies of the new edition of Generation Ex! I'm SO excited that this project of mine is available again. I'd do a dance of joy, but considering my condition, I'll just settle for a sit of joy! :-)
If you or someone you know can benefit from my book, you can order it from my publisher. Thanks!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
(Temporary) New Wheels
I'm very happy to report that I have wheels again. Not my own, though I'm sure I'll have some serious envy to work through by the time my car is fixed in a week or two. I love the purple car!
I'll be heading home tomorrow. I'm still feeling pretty sore so I promised my many concerned friends that I'll take it easy and stop every hour. I still appreciate any prayers lifted on behalf of my safety!
My dad is on his way to my place from Minneapolis so I'll someone to keep tabs on me at home for a few days. I have an appointment with my regular doctor on Friday, my neuro on Tuesday, and neuropsych on Thursday. That should give me a better idea of when I'll be feeling better.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Seriously?!?
So...as you know...my book is being re-released next week. That, of course, must mean it's time for me to have another accident!I'm here in Canton, Ohio visiting friends. Yesterday I was on my way to meet a friend for lunch. I exited the highway and stopped at the light. All was well til the car behind me didn't stop. Alas, Miles (my fairly faithful Mazda Protege) has a bit of a boo boo.
For that matter, so do I. Yes, I hit my head...again. You'd think that if I'm going to keep getting injured, I could at least change it up.
I got to spend a few quality hours in the ER for a CT and observation. I'm doing alright. Slight concussion, herniated disc and really sore. Today was spent talking to all manner of insurance folks. Since Ohio is a fault state (thank God!) , the other guy will be paying for my car repairs, rental and medical bills. The car is not legal to drive, so I'll take a rental back home and drive back down when it's fixed...unless of course, they determine that it costs more to fix it than it's worth. It doesn't seem like it's that damaged, but it is a 1998 so who knows.
At any rate, I'm following doctors orders to rest and let my drugs do their work. I'm very grateful that I wasn't more seriously hurt, that I have friends here to dote on me, that details are seeming to work out, for Ohio's auto laws, and for my very kind dogsitters who are spoiling Bailey rotten!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
MY VERY BIG NEWS
As many of you guessed, my VERY BIG NEWS is that Generation Ex is being reprinted!!! FamilyLife is my new publishing home. You'll be seeing some changes to this blog in the coming weeks, starting with the book cover. The book has a soft release date, which means it will be available as soon as it comes of the press. We expect the first copies to ship October 15.FamilyLife is perhaps best known for their radio broadcast with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine. I've long been a fan of this organization's work to promote healthy families, and am honored to be part of their team.
I was in Little Rock in May (along with Elizabeth Marquardt) to record a few programs for the show. That led to discussions about the book, which led to my contract, which led to the fastest fast-track I've ever experienced. I signed my contract last month and the book releases in two weeks!
Thanks to all of you who have been supportive of me, my book and my mission. I appreciate your willingness to get the word out. After all, everyone knows someone who needs this book.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Drum Roll Still Rolling
Thanks for those who posted or emailed me about my VERY BIG NEWS. I promise, I will post about it soon. Here's a hint. I'm waiting for an image to post with my announcement :-).
In the meantime, I found a great overview of the long-term effects of divorce on Chrysalis' blog that serves as a great reminder for why I do what I do.
In the meantime, I found a great overview of the long-term effects of divorce on Chrysalis' blog that serves as a great reminder for why I do what I do.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Late Review
Thanks to the wonder of Google Alerts, I found a review of my book on Families.com. In related news, I have some VERY BIG NEWS to share soon. Stay tuned! For now, here's the review:
14 Jul 2006 02:28 PM
Book Review: Generation Ex
by Valerie Nelson
Divorce affects each person differently. In her book called Generation Ex, Jen Abbas explains the effects that divorce has on children and how we tend to carry them through to adulthood. Since the 1970's when no fault divorce laws were adopted, over a million children per year have been affected by divorce. Currently, nearly half of all children's families will experience divorce before that child reaches adulthood.
The author's catchy title "Generation Ex" stems from the understanding that the first generation (or largest up to that time)of children of divorce that grew up in the 70's and 80's are now into adulthood and oftentimes taking with them the emotional scars of divorce.
Jen tells us in her book that she seems to be more affected by her parents divorce each year, not less, and that divorce is not just a bump in the road that is easily overcome. Listed on pages 11 & 12 of the book are some of the effects of divorce that carry into adulthood:
• Fear of falling in love, even with a strong desire to do so.
• Turning into a perfectionist.
• Fear that even if someone says, "I love you," ultimately that person might leave you.
• Trust comes in hard-earned degrees.
• You are not sure where home is, or you aren't so sure you want to accept the home that society has defined for you.
• You have holes in your history.
• You aren't sure what a healthy marriage looks like.
I agree with a lot of what the author said, and found the book intriguing because my parents divorced after I was married. I thought that their divorce did not affect me because I was already an adult living my own married life. The book helped shed some light upon the truth that the divorce, and maybe more so the bad marriage prior to the divorce, did have an effect on me and still does today.
As a woman who has gone through divorce, and still wants the very best for her children, some parts of the book where the author posed tough questions and honest thoughts were difficult for me to read. For example on page 12, Jen writes:
If our parents' decision to divorce were truly a healthy one because it offered the potential for a happier home, then why do so many of us still struggle decades later with issues of abandonment, trust, commitment, and making our own marriages work?
Divorce is often the defining event of our life, and the implications of our parents' choice continue to ripple throughout our life.
Ouch, that hurts. So does divorce. It hurts all parties involved at some level.
Even though some of the book was difficult to read, I stil recommend it because it is written from the viewpoint of an adult who has grown up in a family that experienced two divorces-both her parents, and then her mother and step father's breakups. In addition, Jen Abbas is open and honest about the wide range of emotions due to divorce that she and many others feel throughout their lives. I think the book could be an important communication tool to utilize as our children grow and potentially experience some of the same difficulties discussed in the book.
14 Jul 2006 02:28 PM
Book Review: Generation Ex
by Valerie Nelson
Divorce affects each person differently. In her book called Generation Ex, Jen Abbas explains the effects that divorce has on children and how we tend to carry them through to adulthood. Since the 1970's when no fault divorce laws were adopted, over a million children per year have been affected by divorce. Currently, nearly half of all children's families will experience divorce before that child reaches adulthood.
The author's catchy title "Generation Ex" stems from the understanding that the first generation (or largest up to that time)of children of divorce that grew up in the 70's and 80's are now into adulthood and oftentimes taking with them the emotional scars of divorce.
Jen tells us in her book that she seems to be more affected by her parents divorce each year, not less, and that divorce is not just a bump in the road that is easily overcome. Listed on pages 11 & 12 of the book are some of the effects of divorce that carry into adulthood:
• Fear of falling in love, even with a strong desire to do so.
• Turning into a perfectionist.
• Fear that even if someone says, "I love you," ultimately that person might leave you.
• Trust comes in hard-earned degrees.
• You are not sure where home is, or you aren't so sure you want to accept the home that society has defined for you.
• You have holes in your history.
• You aren't sure what a healthy marriage looks like.
I agree with a lot of what the author said, and found the book intriguing because my parents divorced after I was married. I thought that their divorce did not affect me because I was already an adult living my own married life. The book helped shed some light upon the truth that the divorce, and maybe more so the bad marriage prior to the divorce, did have an effect on me and still does today.
As a woman who has gone through divorce, and still wants the very best for her children, some parts of the book where the author posed tough questions and honest thoughts were difficult for me to read. For example on page 12, Jen writes:
If our parents' decision to divorce were truly a healthy one because it offered the potential for a happier home, then why do so many of us still struggle decades later with issues of abandonment, trust, commitment, and making our own marriages work?
Divorce is often the defining event of our life, and the implications of our parents' choice continue to ripple throughout our life.
Ouch, that hurts. So does divorce. It hurts all parties involved at some level.
Even though some of the book was difficult to read, I stil recommend it because it is written from the viewpoint of an adult who has grown up in a family that experienced two divorces-both her parents, and then her mother and step father's breakups. In addition, Jen Abbas is open and honest about the wide range of emotions due to divorce that she and many others feel throughout their lives. I think the book could be an important communication tool to utilize as our children grow and potentially experience some of the same difficulties discussed in the book.
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