Not dead yet...

Yikes...it's been awhile since I've posted. No real excuse for that, expecially since this way my attempt to stay in touch with everyone. I have a few drafts saved, which I'll try to finish and post. Since my last post I've had one trip to Nashville for work and another little relapse.

A few quick thoughts about my trip:

* I represented my company at the American Association of Christian Counselors world conference. We haven't exhibited at this event before and it was an enlightening time for our team. Zondervan has a wealth of resources for counselors (both professional, pastoral and lay counselors)--not only the big names most folks are know, but also a bevy of hidden gems like Stumbling Toward Faith, Conversations with the Voiceless and Surviving Information Overload. I think the thing I love most about my job is connecting resources with those who need them.

* The highlight of my trip with a little divine intersection with a neuropsychologist who stopped by our booth. My colleague and I would often ask attendees about their area of specialty as a way of educating them about new resources for their clients. When this man stopped by, I gushed, "I LOVE neuropsychologists!" because my neuropsych was so beneficial in helping me understand the emotional effects of my head injury. And emotionally, at this point in my recovery, I was having a hard time with the reality that I'm not the same person I was pre-injury. I was so blessed by our conversation, the affirmation that what I was experiencing really was normal, and especially by the prayer he shared with me. We talked a bit about the spiritual effects of head injuries (something I hope to write about more at a later date) and the whole idea of redefining normal for me. Because my long term memory is fine, my mind still thinks I should function at the level and in the way I did before. But I can't. And when I try to, I fail. I need to learn to live with my new limits, and it's extraordinarily frustrating. I need to remember that God has allowed this for His purposes and instead of railing against Him for allowing it, I need to ask Him to show me what He desires for this new me. The prayer this man prayed over me was a soothing balm based on the fruits of the spirit:

may I love myself...as I am now
may I experiece joy...with life as it is now
may I have peace with myself...as I am now
may I have patience with myself...as I am now
may I show kindness to myself...as I am now
my I seek the goodness in myself...as I am now
may I renew faithfulness in my life...as I am now
may I show gentleness to myself...as I am now
may I exhibit self-control in my thoughts toward myself...as I am now.

Father, bless that man for his discernment for the words and assurance I needed that day.

As a result of our talk, and a conversation I had with a professor of psychology and neuroscience the night before, I found a few articles online to enlighten and assure me a bit more:

What is Brain Injury?

Emotional Stages of Recovery