Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Words of Wedded Wisdom

My Michigan friends threw me a bridal shower a few weeks ago. Since I am one of the last of my friends to marry, I'm able to learn from their experiences. My friends put together a book of marriage advice for me. It's good stuff, so I decided to share.

If you have wisdom to share, I'd love to hear it!

  • In Terms of a Lifetime...In those moments when a situation seems SO important to you and the other one just doesn't get it. Before pursuing the "discussion," ask yourself, "In terms of a lifetime together with my love, is ____ really important or will it be forgotten in days, weeks, years? Proceed according to your answer.
  • Celebrate the Differences. If you and your spouse were exactly the same, one of you wouldn't be needed in the marriage! Usually a difference causes you to grow in some way. Growth is tough but without it the relationship suffers.
  • Pack some snack food, your computer and a DVD. Go for a drive to a nice location. Have your own drive in movie night date. Enjoy the movie and each other.
  • Go mini-golfing and out for ice cream afterwards.
  • Get dressed up for an evening out. Go to a nice restaurant for dinner and then go ballroom dancing. For added privacy, crank up the music and dance in your backyard under the stars.
  • Challenge your spouse to a $20 date night. See who can plan the best evening for $20 or less, then go out and try the winning date. It will make you feel like a teenage in love!
  • When you know your honey is having a hard week, pamper him with a foot rub and a back rub. When he's more relaxed, then you can share sweet kisses...
  • Prepare a romantic picnic with your husband. Bring a blanket, some cheese, and a nice bottle of wine. Find a secluded park or nature trail. Enjoy an hour of conversation and good company.
  • Do something sweet and don't him. Just wait to see his reaction when he does notice.
  • Go on a real date once a week.
  • Get flowers.
  • Be intimate even when you don't feel like it. Very rarely, if ever, will you regret being intimate with your spouse, but you will regret the connection and closeness you miss out on if you say, "No."
  • When tempted to pick a fight, pick grace instead. Both bickering and grace are contagious. You can choose what will abound in your home.
  • Take long walks togehter after work. It's a great way to stay connected and catch up. And you'll get some exercise while you're at it!
  • Know each other's love languages and work at filling the other's "love tank." It takes some effort at times, but the rewards are great!
  • Surprise him in the shower every once in a while. He'll love the company as long as you don't startle him too much (BOO!!) Slipping and breaking a leg in the shower in the process is not romantic!
  • Always set aside time for "just the two of you." Movie, dinner out or just bumming around the mall. Quality time together is so important. Never let life get too busy and full to allow time together.
  • After he's had a long week, make him a huge romantic dinner for the two of you and spend the rest of the night together.
  • Pick one night per month (a different one every month) and leave a note or gift tag with a quote or rhyme to clue him in or leave him curious.
  • Watch football together. Browns and Vikings should work nicely!
  • Initiate intimacy yourself. Men like to feel desireable too!
  • (My favorite) When you are feeling saucy, or even when you're not, break out the romantic game of Settlers of Catan. Oh Yes, I said romantic. Romantic variation: every road build: kiss; every settlement buitl: rub; every city built: nibble; every metropolis: lick. Winner: the sensuous result of three hour gaming anticipation!!!

We also enjoyed several romantic quotes:

  • The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart--Josiah G. Holland
  • Love is an irresistable deisre to be irresistibly desired--Robert Frost
  • What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us--Robert Waldo Emerson

1 comment:

Jonathan & Karen Ng said...

One of the best tips my wife and I have ever gotten is to pray with each other every night. Your book mentions about the power of prayer. I have found (from humble experience) that it is very hard to hold a grudge or anger toward your spouse when you know you have to pray with them. So consider it empirical evidence that prayer works in the context of marriage too. :) May God bless your marriage, Jen.