Monday, August 30, 2010

Book Review: Reason to Believe

Ryan from Reason to Believe posted this review of Generation Ex:

I live in the United States where the divorce rate hovers between 50 and 60 percent. Tragically the rate of divorce for those who claim the name of Jesus is the same as those whom do not.

Another way to look at it is like this; as summer rolls around and the wedding season gears up, you may be invited to several weddings. At each and every wedding you attend, as the couple begins to recite their vows of love and commitment for each other, pull out a small coin from your pocket and flip it into the air. Heads the couple will stay together and tails they won’t.

I'm not trying to be cynical, rather that is the sad reality of our culture. But what is even more devastating is the impact that divorce will have on their children. As we move from a generation where a divorce was a cause for public shame, to a generation where divorce is accepted and oftentimes encouraged, we are just now beginning to see some of the consequences the decision to divorce has.

“Adult children of divorce” (ACOD) is the term given to those whose parents have divorced (when they were children or adults) and are now adults preparing for, or are already in a committed marriage. Many of these ACODs are just now beginning to see the traumatic effects their parents divorce have had on them.
From the back cover:


Finally, a book for adult children of divorce, written by an adult child of divorce.
One of the hardest truths about divorce is that every split – no matter when it occurs – will have lifelong effects on the children caught in the crossfire. While most people acknowledge our pain during our parents’ parting, few of us realize that our most significant insecurities, questions, and doubts may not show up until years later, when we seek our own intimate relationships as adults.
In fact, millions of adult children of divorce feel lost, displaced, or unwanted years after the ink has dried on their parents’ divorce decree. Like them, you may fear abandonment, betrayal, or failure in your own marriage. Despite outward successes, you may doubt your emotional abilities. You may notice that your parents’ divorce affects you more each year, not less.
You are not alone!
Through research, interviews, and personal stories, Generation Ex will help you understand the effect of your parents’ divorce on your identity, faith, and relationships and will give you the tools you need to create a dramatically different legacy.
Includes: questions for reflections.



This book is not a “quick fix” or a “self-help” rather it is designed to help you unlock the doors of your painful past, with the help of someone who knows how you are feeling, and allows you to begin the healing process.

If you are an Adult Child of Divorce, are married to an ADOC, are contemplating a divorce, or have already divorced, I HIGHLY recommend this book. I’d also recommend this book as an addition to pre-marital counseling curriculum when either person is from a divorced home.

You can purchase the book through Family Life by CLICKING HERE.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you want to learn more about this topic and other tactics for women in divorce consider reading Divorce-Money Matters, A Planning Guide For Women on Financial Matters Contemplating or in Divorce by L. Burke Files. It is a great resource with no nonsense.


http://www.amazon.com/Divorce-L-Burke-Files/dp/0982372310/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1293469380&sr=1-6

Uncontested Divorce Virginia said...

The biggest thing in marriage besides love, is honesty and respect. This guy is giving a patch job, while what you really need is a brand new way of doing things. I new way to relate, and a new way of living your own life and how you percieve things. If both aren't willing to eventually do this, and work together, then there isn't much hope. One person can go to save the marriage with a new approach and lots of delving into maritaul self help type books, by the more well renowned trusted authors. In the end though you are bringing them around to the ultimate goal of working it out together. Lots of maritual therapy should follow. lol This is what saved my marriage.

Utah Divorce Attorney said...

True, children are the ones who suffer the most in a divorce. Liked your post a lot!

Online Divorce Pa said...

This book can help enlighten the people who are dealing with difficulties pertaining to their family especially the children who may be caught in the middle of the separation.

Don Harting MA, ELS, CCMEP said...

Trying to locate Jen Abbas on Twitter so I can add her to my growing list of adult children of divorced parents who are active on Twitter and trying to help other children of divorced parents. My Twitter account is @PennHealthScout.