Songs for Staying Together

Lyrics that show how love lasts.

"I Just Wanna Be Mad" by Terri Clark from the album, Greatest Hits 1994-2004
"Let's Begin Again" by Ray Boltz from the album, Moments for the Heart
"Roll to the Middle" by Sara Groves from the album, The Other Side of Something

Roll to the Middle

My church has been doing a series on family relationships for most of the summer. A few weeks back, they used a Sara Groves song with a message on reconciliation. It's a good one...

Roll To The Middle
w/m: Sara Groves
from the album, The Other Side of Something

We just had a World War III here in our kitchen
We both thought the meanest things
And then we both said them
We shot at each other till we lost amunition

This is how I know our love
This is when I feel it’s power
Here in the absence of it
This is my darkest hour
When both of us are hunkered down
And waiting for the truce

All the complicated wars
They end pretty simple
Here when the lights go down
We roll to the middle

No matter how my pride resists
No matter how this wall feels true
No matter how I can’t be sure
That you’re gonna roll in too
No matter what, no matter what I’m going to reach for you

...how I long to find a love that doesn't say goodbye

Struggle

It's been quite a month since my last post. To be honest, I've not been exactly sure how to share what's been going on. There have been some significant changes in my life and a few rather heartbreaking disappointments. My life is not moving in the direction I thought it was just a few short months ago and I'm grieving the differences.

The reality is that I struggle so much with struggle. I like to think that as a woman of faith I should just be able to happily take in whatever comes my way. A friend shared with me that the peaks and valleys of life are both to be expected, and yet we are so surprised (disappointed, shocked, angry) when we hit that next valley...as if we are somehow immune to them. I shared with another friend the honest humanity of my emotions...I want to be above these feelings. I want to be unfazed by life's disappointments. I want to smile and have an unshakable faith. I want that, even in the midst of being blindsided by my circumstances, to believe I can be so utterly fulfilled with God alone that being let down by someone I loved would somehow not hurt quite so much.

The truth is, that hope is a fantasy. We are created for community. We are designed to desire and be desired by others. When hope is deferred, when dreams are dashed, our fragile hearts can't help but break because anything less means we didn't really love in the first place. So I'm encouraged by my hurt, as twisted as that sounds, because it means I did love, even if I lost it. And I'm encouraged that even though God isn't obligated to answer our whys, He still invites us to ask the hard questions.

I have so many questions.

Little Rock

I'm in Little Rock, Arkansas for my FamilyLife Today taping. Elizabeth Marquardt, author of Between Two Worlds, and I will be talking to hosts Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine about the the effects of divorce on children. Our programs will air in about six months. I'll be sure to let you know when you can tune in!

Last night, my new friend Amy picked me up at the airport and we set out for dinner. We ended up at Doe's Eat Place, which gained national fame during the Clinton campaign. It's a little hole-in-the-wall place. As we were enjoying our HUGE steak, the guys at the next table keep peering over at our table. After the third time, they told us that the photo on the wall was off one of the guys, and the photo was taken by the other guy. The photo was taken in Iraq. Seemed like good photo op so here it is. The soldiers are John Edwards (left) and Russel Betts (right).

An Unfinished Life

My mom recommended this movie. I could tell from her email that it really hit home with her. We don't always agree on movies, but I put it on my list.

Last night I was hanging out with a friend. She mentioned that she had rented a few movies, and wouldn't you know, an unfinished life was one of them.

I can see why it resonated so strongly with my mom. The movie explores themes of forgiveness, making peace with the choices we've made and how those choices affect others. In one poignant scene, the main character (who lost her husband in a car accident, and has since made a series of poor choices in boyfriends) says to her daughter, "I always think of you first!," to which the daughter replies, "Then it should start to show."

Earlier in the evening, at church, the message was on parenting. One of the key points was the influence of modeling and that 80% of children cite their parents as the #1 model for their moral ideals.

Something I've been mulling over for awhile is the idea that we have two opportunities with each choice we make. First we do something, then we choose to either reinforce or repair that action. For example, if I get into a disagreement with someone and say something rather unloving, I did something wrong, probably more out of emotion than choice. However, if I choose not to go back to that person, apologize and make amends, then I am intentionally choosing to reinforce that hurtful sentiment. From a spiritual perspective, I believe our conscience (empowered by the Holy Spirit) brings to mind when we're in need of repairing a situation. If we choose to follow through, to repair the harm we've done, we maintain our sensitivity. If we choose to ignore those promptings, we harden our hearts and it becomes more difficult to do the right thing.

What I like about this movie is that every character has a pretty understandable reason to be bitter or angry about life's circumstances, and it realistically shows the consequences for how they choose to respond to the life they've been given.

Thanks, Mom!

The lighter side

There's a lot on my plate that I can't share quite yet, but it's been a pretty stressful time. Here's a little something that made me laugh for five minutes!

The History of Dance

Christian Co-Parenting Seminar

Tammy Bennett started a ministry called Christian Co-Parenting a few years back to help divorced parents make wise and healthy decisions to minimize the effect of divorce on their kids.

On Saturday, June 3, her ministry will be hosting a seminar for divorced parents, pastors, counselors and others who live and work with families affected by divorce. I will be there to present the children's point of view.

The seminar is free, and lunch is provided, but you do need to pre-register. If you're in the Nashville area, I hope you'll come out. It's Tammy's dream to host more events around the country. If you're interested in hosting in your city, please contact Tammy directly at tammy@christiancoparenting.com.

Event details:
Christian Co-Parenting Seminar
Saturday, June 3, 2006
8:30am – 3:30pm

Fellowship Bible Church
(in ‘The Barn’)
1210 Franklin Road
Brentwood, TN 37027

pre-register at www.christiancoparenting.com

Listen to my KKMS interview

I had a great time with Jeff & Lee from KKMS on Wednesday. Both hosts are adult children of divorce which made the interview a bit more lively. Listen to my segment here.

KKMS Radio Interview

I'll be on the air tomorrow (Wednesday, May 10) at 6pm Eastern/5pm Central doing an interview on KKMS radio in Minneapolis. Thanks to my friend, Ted, for hooking me up!

Unbelievable!

So last night I was at my friends' house for our weekly West Wing fix. I plopped down on the couch not observing the shelf behind it. THWAP! I clunked my head pretty good. I saw a bright light and got myself a doozy of a headache. Twenty-eight hours later...still have the headache. And yeah, I called my doctor. Of course, with my head injury history, it was off to the ER. One CT later, it's official...slight concussion. Good grief! I'm going to have to start wearing a hard hat!

On a more serious note, I'm pretty sure I'm fine, but I'd appreciate your prayers just to be sure!