Tuesday, April 11, 2006

food for thought

God does not greatly use the man He does not first greatly wound.


Anonymous said...

Great quote! I am aware of the debate surrounding how children of divorce cope and heal. You and others take the view that divorce leaves scars which the children may spend a lifetime trying to recover from. In my opinion, your book and others have credibility because you've lived through divorce as a child. My question for you is whether you are aware of literature written by an ACOD claiming that the effects of divorce on children aren't really that bad? ~ From another ACOD

Jen said...

Great question! I have done some research on that very thing! And the answer so far...is no. The closest thing I found was Jesse Butterworth's book "Six String Rocketeer." It's more of a memoir, and written to teens. One might come away from the book with the feeling that CODs will eventually come to a point of closure, but in his epilogue he writes about triggers that come up years later at a Christmas gathering. I think given his audience--who are still at home and coping with their parents choices--it works. The real work in healing, I believe, can't occur until we're on our own.

On the other hand, I've seen several books written by divorced parents who say that the effects aren't really that bad. Constance Ahrons, who wrote "The Good Divorce" comes to mind. It's hard to accept a twice-divorced author as a credible person to explain what it feels to be child of divorce. We CODs are great at telling our parents and other authorities what we think they want to hear!