One Year Ago...How Niels & I Met

I've had several requests for this story, and since today marks the one year anniversary of Niels in my life, this seems the perfect time to tell it.

HOW I MET MY AMAZING DUTCH HUSBAND, NIELS

In contrast to those who say that God will send Mr. Right when you have your life in order, my life had to first get complete un-ordered. One year ago...

• My heart was broken from a relationship that didn't work out.
• My adopted family had moved to China.
• I lost a job I loved because my post-head injury health never got back to a point where I could no longer work full time
• I realized that because of the above point, I'd have to sell my house.

Happy times, eh?

I knew I needed a change of scenery to start the healing process. In August, I spent a week in Ohio where, oddly enough, where my ex lives, handing out with some new friends trying to figure out a new life plan.

For reasons I couldn't articulate, I had felt God leading me to move to Ohio. When I first sense to prompting, I was dating someone there and the move made sense. But after our breakup, the leading didn't go away, thus leading me to a very frustrating time of questioning my ability to discern God's will.

I decided to pursue the, move until I sensed a closed door. But I moved slowly visiting for a week a month, for several months. During my second visit, in September of last year, I was staying with my friend, Becca. One night, we drove up to Cleveland to go ballroom dancing. Unfortunately, the place had cancelled the lessons...without updating the website. We drove an hour for nothing. On the way back, we were talking about guys (She had also just broken up with her boyfriend). I was telling her about Match.com and that I was starting to browse but not sure my heart was ready for anything yet. When we got home I logged on to show her how it works. I did a search of guys in Cleveland, "if, for example, I wanted to find a guy to go dancing with."

Niels' profile came up and laughed when I read the part about "I'm looking for someone who won't mind that her in-laws will live half the world away." I learned that up until a few years ago, he lived in the Netherlands. He loved to read and travel and his profile made me laugh. I moved my mouse over the "wink" icon to show my friend how that works (at that point, I wasn't about to initiate any conversations). I logged off, went to bed, and didn't think anything of it.

Turns out I had clicked "wink" when I showed Becca the site. Niels got my wink and checked out my profile. As a good Dutchie, he knows all about Grand Rapids--in fact, it was the first US city he visited--and has "adopted" family in Holland, MI. So we started writing...then talking on the phone...and then he made plans to visit me in Michigan.

As he tells it, he was smitten from the first time he saw me (about two weeks later). It took me a little longer, and because he came on so strong, my messed up heart got confused. But he was amazingly patient and won me over.

When we first met, my comment to friends was, "I've never been a fan of the idea of having a guy as a best friend, but with Niels, I can see the appeal." He's smart, fascinating and I love spending time with him. But I don't think my heart knew how to accept real love, so I was unsure of my romantic feelings.

In October, while in Ohio, I was rear-ended. Niels drove from Cleveland to Canton to check up on me. But the first romantic spark came for me later that month when he was visiting me in MI. I was still pretty sore from my accident and I needed to go to Chicago to get my visa for my upcoming trip to China. Niels took a day off work (making me feel special) to drive up to GR, and then take me to Chicago. The night before we left, Bailey needed to go out. Niels saw that I was finally comfortable on the couch so he took her out. She went #2. Niels didn't have a dog, but he came in, got a little baggie and got the do. I saw him go into the bathroom to flush it, and heard him gag as he did. But he never said a word or complained about it. At that point I thought, "There's a guy who's willing to love sacrificially"

We had a great time in Chicago the next day. He impressed me by driving to Chicago for the first time and finding the consulate without once referring to a map. (He had Googled directions before coming to MI). We were able to take care of business at the consulate by noon, and spent the rest of the day enjoying the great city. We had a great time and on the way back we had an amazing conversation that really turned my heart to him.

Shortly before I went to China for Christmas and he went to Holland we had a really good talk about what a future might look like together. We didn't have any timeline in mind, but we liked the overall idea. My heart was still afraid he might change his mind...after all, there are plenty of non-head injured, employed, thin American girls for him to choose from. Fortunately, he was undeterred. He wanted me. :-)

Two days after I arrived in China, there was an earthquake in Taiwan, which destroyed the internet cables connecting mainland China to the rest of the world. I was there three weeks, and never had a connection to US sites. But, after a few days, I could connect with Niels because he was in Holland. So it was a trust exercise for me. He was my only connection to the US.

So he was checking my email and telling me if I got anything interesting. Dad sent an email telling me he was going to Israel and had a layover in Amsterdam. I hadn't told my parents about Niels yet, so my comment to Niels was, "That's not fair that Dad gets to go to Holland before me!." That led Niels to the Net where he found a cheap flight to get in Amsterdam the same day as dad.

In January when we got back to the States (I was starting to live with a family in Ohio at this point), we decided we never wanted to be apart that long again. We started talking dates, again, kind of as a joke. I said that my COBRA expired in November and he's at a point where it would be cheaper for him to get a green card than face the legal fees of the next step in his residency process. From there, we knew that the Kennedys would be in the States in July, and my friend Jen was due July 9. So we called Lakeside Banquet Center, recommended by friends, and they were free July 27 and 29. When I realized that July 29 would have been my mom and dad's 40th anniversary, we decided to redeem the day.

Things went pretty fast after that. I help Niels buy a house in North Canton in February. We went to Europe in March. I met his family, he met my dad, and on March 20, he proposed to me in Paris in a garden at the foot of the Eiffel Tower (sigh)...

We had a hectic but wonderful four-month engagement, and on July 29, 2007, I became Mrs. Niels de Jong!

First Month of Forever

Today is our one month anniversary!!! Lots has happened in the last 31 days, and it's still easy to say I'm thrilled to be Mrs. Niels de Jong.

In honor of our first 31 days of marriage, here are top 31 reasons I love being married to Niels:

1. He is a godly man, worthy of my heart and definitely worth the wait!
2. He cracks me up. We laugh a lot!
3. He appreciates the little things I try to do for him--be it Rasta Pasta or burnt pancakes. (I cannot make pancakes for the life--and a lifetime of trying--of me!)
4. He loves our dog, but he loves me more. And she knows it!
5. He protects me by serving as my advocate and by helping me learn my limits as I continue to heal from my TBI.
6. He provides for me. Though he encourages me to do what I love, he supports the fact that right now, I love being Suzie Homemaker.
7. He comforts me. God gives me just the right words to say when I need it--and He listens to God to say it.
8. He's a human GPS and loves to drive, making him my ideal travel companion. And he loves to travel!
9. Even when I might disappoint him, he can still see the heart behind my good intentions.
10. I love to hear him sing bass at church.
11. He's teaching me Dutch so our kids can be raised bilingually--ik hou van jou, mijn liefje!
12. He is a peacemaker and an agent of healing in many ways, with many people.
13. He loves my family.
14. He loves my friends.
15. He has an amazing, loving family. And I can still stay that after hosting them for a week before our wedding!
16. He makes good decisions (most of the time) and helps me make wise decisions (all the time).
17. He was patient enough to wait for me to see what a great catch he is!
18. He's so stinkin' smart.
19. He shares my addictions for Wiki, Google and books.
20. He makes me a better person.
21. He takes care of me on my bad brain day, and looks out for me so I have fewer bad brain days than I did before I married him.
22. He's more accepting of my quirks and faults than I am.
23. He has hope--even when I don't--that my ability to write will return.
24. He has made my priorities his own.
25. I love the sense of partnership I have with him, that whatever we face, we face together.
26. Since our engagement, we haven't had a single big fight, and when we have disagreed or disappointed each other, the "love bank" is still full enough that we can quickly come to a resolution.
27. He shares my love for creating rituals and traditions.
28. I love the amazing vows he wrote and made on our wedding day.
29. This the only the first of a lifetime together!

Happy Month-iversary, Sweetie!

A few new blogs

Now that I am home all day without wedding plans to create, I am relishing my new career as a homemaker. Niels has joined me in praying for the return of my ability to write. The ideas don't come as easily or as often as they did, but I'm grateful now for the time to make time to jot down my thoughts when they do come.

For that reason, I've started two new blogs.

• The first, with Niels, is our family blog: http://www.foreverdejong.blogspot.com/.
• The second is an idea I've had in the back of my head for almost as long as when I hit my head: http://www.graceafterthefall.blogspot.com/.

In an attempt to return this blog to its focus on issues relating to parental divorce, these other two blogs will be a neat orderly place for me to direct my thoughts as they come.

The Man I Married

A few days before our wedding, I gave Niels' mom and dad handkerchiefs with these words, "Thank you for raising your son to be the man of my dreams." We're only two weeks into our marriage, but every day I am more amazed at the way God has answered my years of prayers. Neither Niels nor I are perfect, but he is perfect for me, and it's clear to me that God has brought us together as a way of perfecting each other.

Today I did a radio interview, my first since the wedding. One of the topics discussed was the way parental divorce impacts an adult child's views of marriage. I remember, early in my adult life, seeking perfect love. I wanted to take the risk out of loving. I was terrified of offering my heart to someone less than fully vetted and committed to not breaking it. Of course, the men I dated were imperfect, and disappointed me, and some broke my heart. In all honesty, I have disappointed those I dated, and I have broken a few hearts myself.

It took me a long time to marry, I think, because it took me a long time to learn that without risk, love is impossible. True love--the kind that is lasting and unconditional and capable of commitment from better to worse to better again--is a mysterious mix of risk and revelation and restraint. It's taking a risk to give someone the opportunity to love or reject you. It's the willingness to open up your heart, share your thoughts, merge your dreams with another. It's the choice to define another by his best moments, and to extend grace and forgiveness in his worst.

Twelve years ago, I began praying for the man to whom I would have the courage to risk my heart, reveal my soul's hidden hurts and highest hopes, and for whom I would restrain my urge to run when love was hard or hidden. Twelve years ago, I didn't know if this list of characteristics would ultimately culminate in an actual, in-the-flesh man who would become my husband, but the process of defining him was a healing one. In the twelve, often lonely, years, this list was my prayer guide for the man I hoped to meet.

Twelve years later, I've met and married the man I've been praying for, and in--at last!--sharing this list with Niels, we can both see God's perfect timing in bringing us together after so long. When I first began praying for Niels, he wasn't living in the States. He was a twenty-year-old college student in The Netherlands. More important than that, he was not yet my spiritual brother. He needed time to develop a personal relationship with our Savior, and to deepen in his maturity as a man and as a Christian.

The list is essentially the same today as it was when I first drafted it in the spring of 1995. I made one tweak in 1999 when I realized my own hypocrisy in ruling out those from broken homes. Though it was still strongly my preference--and one God did chose to grant--I realized I needed to extend the same grace to others that I was relying on for myself.

Over the years, I've shared my list with a select few, mostly women, with the slight exception of husbands of my closest friends. Others have asked for my list, either to help me pray for my husband or to help them consider their own. Now that I have married the man I've been praying for, I'm happy to post my list here:

The Man I’m Praying For…

Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart—I Samuel 16: 7

COMMITTED CHRISTIAN— His faith is his top priority. His obedience has been tested and he has been found faithful. His life and those of his male friends offer growing evidence that his character is more closely resembling that of Christ—Matthew 6:33.

HIS PARENTS OR ANOTHER COUPLE HAVE PROVIDED A MARRIAGE MODEL—A set of mentors to guide us to a joyful, godly marriage—Deuteronomy 4:9. If his parents are not married, I want to know that he has learned from their mistakes, sought to address the negative habits he may have inherited and has found an older couple to be mentors to him (3/7/99).

COMMITTED TO MARRIAGE—It is a matter of integrity that he not only avoid divorce, but that he has an enjoyable, godly marriage that our children will want to emulate. He has never been married and shares my understanding of Matthew 19.

FINANCIALLY STABLE—He doesn’t have to be wealthy, but he needs to be a good steward of what he has so that we can live on his income when the kids come—Deuteronomy 15:10

INTELLIGENT—college-educated, articulate, someone I can talk to, share ideas with and discuss books, sermons and the Bible—Proverbs 27:17

STRONG, COMPASSIONATE LEADER—A man of integrity who embraces his God-given masculinity and to whom I can submit because I know he seeks to love me as Christ loves the Church—Ephesians 5:25-29

COMMITTED TO MINISTRY—Someone who looks beyond his needs to the needs of others, by investing time and/or money to support the Church. A man who can support me in what God has called me to do—I Corinthians 15:58 & 2 Corinthians 8:7

CONFIDENT, YET HUMBLE—Derives self-worth from what God did & who he is in relation to who God is. A man who has been intentional about discovering God’s will for his life and vocation. A man who leads by example—Psalm 78:72

AFFECTIONATE—A man of whose love I am assured by his words, actions, gestures and prayers—Ephesians 5: 25-28.

MY BEST FRIEND—A man who wants to spend time with me in domestic support and in fun, laughs easily and often (and rarely at the expense of another). We have shared interests (faith, music, football, volleyball, golf, water sports, reading…), values and life goals. He is a life-long friend—Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Niels, Thank you for letting God mold you into the man of my dreams--and prayers.

Ik hou van jou, liefje.

License to Wed

We are officially licensed to wed. We were tempted to elope when we went to the courthouse, but decided we could wait a few more days.

The courthouse itself was gorgeous! We admired the glass and jade atrium before signing in with the clerk. We passed them looking at old marriage registrations from the 20's. Lots of rubberworkers in Akron at that time! Most of the brides were 18-20 though we saw one as young as 14! Wonder where those couples are now...

The process was fairly quick, even with the special circumstances with Niels not being an American citizen.

One more check off our dwindling to do list!

God's Amazing Ways

It's one month and one day from my wedding and love is on my mind. Yesterday was one of those amazing days where God lifts the blinders from our eyes and allows us to see the beautiful tapestry He has made of the loose ends of our life.

I woke up and found an email from a good friend of mine. She's had a rough year, coming up on the one year anniversary of her father's death, which comes shortly after his birthday. Niels and I made plans to spend the weekend following the 4th visiting her and her family. She hasn't met Niels yet, and anticipating the anniversary, I thought it might be a good time to be there for her. Everyone needs someone like Ang in their life, but sometimes, more importantly, Ang needs someone like Ang in her life. In many ways, even before her dad died, Ang has become the backbone of her family. On the outside, she's a strong, independent woman. She's the one everyone else leans on because when they lean on her, she'll support them. At the same time, she is a compassionate, tender-hearted soul. She has used her training as an OB-GYN more than once to meet the medical and spiritual needs of women in Africa. When her father's health quickly declined, she moved her parents and sisters to a new home close to her so she could care from them and oversee their medical care (her sisters also have health conditions).

I didn't know Ang's dad well, but his funeral changed my life. A year ago, I was at a complete loss. The vision I had--and thought God gave me--for my life was dimmed and I was lost in the dark. I lost my job, had to sell my house, my boyfriend had just broken up with me, my best friends and adopted family were moving out of the country, my book was out of print and I received some discouraging medical news. I was not well.

When we heard Ang's dad died, a few of us decided to surprise her by roadtripping to the funeral. The look on her face was worth the long hours in the car that day, but the service was an appointment with God. I learned that Ang's dad had sustained a head injury and he had to give up his dream job as a church planter. He became a truck driver to support his family, but even as a truck driver, God used the pastor in him to minister to people on the road. As I heard people share how this man had influenced their lives, both pre and post head injury, it was as if God was speaking directly to me, "I haven't forgotten you, Jen. I know about the head injury. I understand your hurt and anger and confusion. The vision is still there for you. I still have a plan for you, a plan to prosper you and not to harm you. I still have hope for you. Hang on. You may not be who you were, but you are still valuable to Me, still needed by Me, still loved by Me. Will you let me show you?"

Sitting in that chapel the darkness lifted. I still didn't have any answers. But I had hope again.

My heart breaks for my friend as she acknowledges a difficult anniversary and I pray that God will use me to show her how valuable she is, how needed, how loved, not only by God, and me, but so many others in her life. Because that's what love is. Being consistant. Being there. Rolling up your sleeves and digging in when life isn't easy or fun. Ang has modeled loyalty and love to me. And I want to be more like her.

After getting dressed, I made my way over to Niels' house to hang out with Bailey before taking her to the vet. Part of my "job" at this point in my life is finding new doctors, dentists, vets and all the other important people we need in our lives. I received a note in the mail that Bailey was due for a new rabies shot. So finding a new vet was on this week's "to do" list. We sniffed around, found one close by and made an appointment. Today was Bailey's lucky day.

Bailey isn't particularly fond of the vet, and seeing what they do to her each year, I can't say I blame her. And yet, each year she gamely follows me into the vet's office, leans into me while the vet examines her and looks to me to comfort her after shots and very close examinations. Today was no different. If I moved a tiny bit, Bailey would scoot right with me. As I held her today in the vet's office, God reminded me of how similar my dog and I really are. I trust God. Even when I think He's hurting me, even when I don't understand why He allows me into a certain situation, I still look to him for answers and comfort. I still trust that He's going to take care of me.

As we drove home, Bailey sat on my lap, still striving to be as close to me as she possibly could. When we arrived home, she hopped out and ran circles around me until I led her to yard to take care of business. The whole time, her eyes were fixed on me. We came inside and I gave her a treat to reward her for her obedience. I filled up her dog dish and refreshed her water. She looks me to fulfill her every need, and even extra thing she wants. We went downstairs and after a quick run around the house, she came back to me, jumped in my lap and fell asleep. A bit later, she stretched out, all four paws in the air, completely submitted, in a position of absolute trust. Bailey trusts me and loves me unconditionally.

It was my mom's idea for me to adopt Bailey six years ago. At the time I was intimitated by the responsibility of caring for someone, and being the sole provider and caretaker. In short time, I grew accustomed to constantly thinking of her welfare--where is she?, does she need to go out?, does she have food and water? And I looked forward to the way she greeted me each day and each time I came home. I couldn't sleep as well if I didn't feel a little ball of warmth on the bed. No matter how I was feeling, Bailey would cuddle with me. She needed me, and soon, I needed her. She expanded my heart to learn to love unconditionally. I called her my "heart on training wheels." And she trained me well.

With Bailey next to me, I checked my email. A couple nights ago, I checked an old email account and found a message from a good friend from long ago asking for my current contact info. I replied with a short message and news of my upcoming wedding. He replied with a not-so-mini missive of his own. Rather than write him back, I called him and we enjoyed a fun stroll down memory lane. I don't mention Mark by name in my book, but his influence--as well as that of his family--is felt throughout.

Mark and I met when we both in our early 20s. We had the same circle of friends, enjoyed the same activities, especially volleyball and watching football, and were part of the same Bible study. Mark was one of my first close male friends and we spent many, many hours together together discussing all the hypotheticals of love, life and marriage. Mark has one of the most amazing families I've ever met, and many of the snapshots of marriage and family I mention in my book come from his family. It was wonderful catching up with him, and after a break for dinner, it was wonderful to put him on speaker and let him and the man I'll marry talk together.

After we got of the phone, Niels and I talked a bit about Mark's influence of my life. We talked about how I am slow to fall in love, and even slower to fall out. I love rarely, but deeply. And though Mark and I never dated, I realize that I have loved three men in my life, and all three will be there to share my wedding day: my first love, the love of my life, and the love that led me to Niels. Niels is the most secure man I've ever known, and hearing him and Mark talk on the phone, I can see how Niels embodies the best of all the men I've loved. (And how frighteningly well Niels and Mark will get along when they meet next month). As my male friends have married, I've seen my primary affection transfer from husband to wife, and now I can see how my old friendship with Mark could be renewed through a friendship between him and my husband to be.

I fell asleep last night with a smile on my face. When I reflect on all I've learned about love in my life, I admit I haven't loved a lot, but I am learning to love well. Ang has taught me to love in the tough times, to be consistent in the uncertainties of life, and how to keep a soft heart even when one hurts, and to love others, even when, especially when, it's inconvenient. Bailey has taught me to love unconditionally, day in and day out. She's taught me to look at the line of love, not the dot. A bad day today is only a bad day, not a bad dog (or human). She's taught me to take time to laugh and cuddle and just "be." Bailey's taught me how to love with constant consideration for another. Mark taught me about the love of family, of the important of tradition and ritual, of celebrating the silly and substantial. Mark taught me how to talk through the tough topics and helped me develop so many of the views and habits and perspectives that are utterly engrained into my being: on living out my faith, on being a steward of all God entrusts to me, on love and marriage and family.

And then there's Niels. The one my heart loves, who is all these things and more. Yesterday, together, I was with the one the I loved, the one who loved me, and one I longed to meet. Life is good, and God is better.

My Mirror

Fifteen or so years ago, I prayed that God would direct my prayers for my future husband. A time of solitude led me to a list of ten character qualities, plus one verse:

Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart—I Samuel 16: 7

Now that I know the one my heart loves, I see the beauty of God's direction. When I first sensed God leading me toward this verse, I assumed that it meant that my Mr. Wonderful wouldn't look the way I might have pictured him. It's true that my lean, blond Dutchie embodies love differently than the tall, dark and handsome ideal of my single days. But the greater lesson, I think, has been accepting Niels' love and appreciation for my appearance.

A few years ago, shortly after my head injury, I lost a lot of weight. I was looking good, the best of my adult life. I wasn't physically healthy, of course. The weight loss was the result of my brain burning mad calories trying to reconstruct all the broken and twisten neurons that got scrambled up when I knocked my noggin. My doctor warned me that when I started getting better mentally, the weight would come back. And it did...and them some. Since then, it's been a battle: if I focus on the number on the physical scale, I tend to overdo things mentally and end up worse for wear.

Today was a rather depressing day on the scale. I hit one of those numbers a girl just doesn't want to see. It's never a pretty number, but being six weeks away from My Wedding Day (note implied perfection therein), it's even more sobering. Who wants to be at their all time highest weight when one is nearing their day of the pretty white dress and immortal pictures?!?

Niels is perhaps the most secure man I have ever met. We were talking about self-image a few months ago and he shared something with me that is just one of many reasons why I love this man. He reminded me that, as Christians, our job is to be God's mirror, internally. That is, our character is to reflect Christ's character. Those around us should feel God's love through our love. Even if we feel down, dirty, ashamed, or not quite good enough, we can know that we are enough in God's eyes. The Truth is what is real, and the truth is that as Christians, we are made perfect, not through anything we've done or become, but simply because we are His.

In the same way, Niels said, as my husband, he will be my external mirror. No matter what the world says about our value being tied to our weight or shape or size, Niels is the mirror of truth of my external beauty. And as his (soon to be) wife, I have become his standard of beauty. That doesn't mean I should start looking for modeling gigs because Niels thinks I'm beautiful, but rather, I can fully embrace my identity as a beautful woman, because the only one whose judgment of physical beauty matters to me judges me to be beautiful in his eyes.

I would still like to be a size 8 bride, but even though that won't happen, when I walk down the aisle on July 29, I can't imagine feeling more beautiful. I will secure in the incredible unconditional love and acceptance Niels has offered me.

Happy Birthday, Sweetie!

Today is my Dutch sweetie's birthday! Thirty-three years ago in the Netherlands, Niels was born on a beautiful June day. Today, unfortunately, I am unable to be with him because my cold has kept me here in Ohio. He's off in Canada visiting some friends who I know will take good care to celebrate his life with him today.

In 56 days, my Dutch sweetie becomes my handsome, almost-permanent American resident HUSBAND!!! Fifteen years ago I started praying for the husband God planned for me. Many people wondered over the years if my expectations were too high, but God crossed oceans to bring us together. Niels is all I asked for and more than I could have dreamed. Praise God!

I love you, Niels!

From the Keukenhof

On Wednesday, we drove to the coast to a little town that hosts a huge flower garden, the Keukenhof. It seemed a very fitting place to take some engagement pictures.

This is one of my favorites. I love the look of contentment and peace on Niels' face.

And we're off!

My year of international travel continues this week. After starting the year off in China, and a trip to Canada last month, my boyfriend Niels is taking me on a European adventure. We leave tomorrow (Thursday) and arrive Friday morning in Cologne, Germany. The flight is eight hours, but after surviving the thirteen hour flights to/from China, I think I'll be okay!

The trip started off as a joke when I found out my dad, sisters, and brother-in-law have a nine hour layover in Amsterdam on Sunday. I made the comment to Niels, who grew up in The Netherlands, that it isn't fair that my dad gets to go to Holland before me. Niels started checking flights and voila, we're going to meet Dad and the gang at the airport.

In addition to Niels meeting my family, I'll be meeting Niels' family and friends. A few highlights of the trip will be doing a tour of Niels' life in Holland and Belgium, visiting a castle in Germany, adding Luxembourg to my growing list of countries visited, and a special trip to Paris.

Au revoir!
Tot ziens!

Making My Day

I am finally over my jetlag and laryngitis, and Niels and I have been keeping very busy. Last weekend we were in Canada where I was able to meet some of his friends. (In three weeks, we're off to Europe to meet his family and spend a few days in Paris!) It was a whirlwind trip, staying with one set of friends and meeting several others.

A highlight of the trip was meeting Gary, a friend who was instrumental in introducing Niels to Christ. Gary is a worship pastor at a church in Kitchener and though a series of events God crossed their paths over several years. The catalyst for Niels' interest in Christianity was visiting Gary's church and seeing how worship can be relevant and modern.

Over dinner, Gary shared a bit about how he had a discouraging day. We talked a bit about how so often God doesn't allow us to see how He uses us. In fact, more often than not, I think He is best able to use us when we aren't aware of His plans. As Gary shared, I thought how amazing Heaven will be for him as he learns of all the ways God quietly used his life to influence others.

Not long after, a Google alert popped up in my email. It's a blog post from a man who read my book, and how God used it spur him to make some changes in his life. I'm in a season when my writing in on a far back burner. It's frustrating at times, but the conversation with Gary, and this unknown man, offered great encouragement. God is at work, even when I think I'm not.

Check out this man's post, and if you feel led, please honor his request for prayer as he follows as God leads.

Buying is more fun than Selling

In his ongoing effort to show his love for me and trust in me, my ever-so-wonderful boyfriend "hired" me to help him with his house search. He had purchased a home in Belgium, but housing laws are a little different here in the US.

With the help of my mom and Canton friends, I found a mortgage lender, got the paperwork ready for our meeting, found a realtor, and scouted a few homes.

On Sunday, he joined the realtor and I to see my top two choices. One was really great, for a 20 year old house. The other was only a few years old, hardly lived in, but a little more expensive. Both homes had everything he wanted--long driveway for hosting friends, a little acreage, three bedrooms, 2 car garage, hardwood floors and a few other amenities.

We went to the older home first. Niels had seen pictures of both, and I knew when he walked in that he really was looking forward to seeing the other one. Though the older one was really nice, it also gave him a great appreciation for the newer one. One thing I appreciate about Niels is that by the time he's ready to make a decision, he's generally at peace about committing quickly. In this case, we looked at the newer house at about 8pm and made an offer around 10pm. The sellers countered yesterday, and last night we met them in the middle. Today, around noon, he got the good news!!!!

You can see more pictures of the inside here:

For those who are wondering...

Distance from:
...my new digs in Ohio: 7.27 miles (16 minutes)
...my old digs in Michigan: 326.26 miles (5 hours and 9 minutes)
...Minneapolis, MN: 784.35miles (12 hours and 34 minutes)
...Wickenburg, AZ: 2,065.35 miles (30 hours, 19 minutes)
...The Netherlands: 4,035 miles (a long flight)
...China: 6,799 miles (a really long flight)